Protecting Your Marriage

I would like to first apologize for my lack of posting the last couple of weeks. Life and spring-time has gotten the best of me :) I must confess, I am a bit of a warm weather lover and cannot help but be outside constantly... Forgive me.

I would next like to thank those who have been emailing me with their experiences on having a "Servant Heart"!! I have been overwhelmed with the wonderful outcomes from many of you!!! I will be requesting permission from some of you to share your stories with everyone over the next few weeks!!! For now, keep the emails coming, and don't let a new post stop you from continuing to serve!!! ( for those who are not aware, the email is posted on the left side of the blog, but I will also write it here. thinking_e@yahoo.com)

Ok, now onto our feature presentation...

I am going to be referring often to a great little book called, "Moments With the Hope Giver" by The Goad Family. Toward the end of the book there is a chapter entitled "Protecting Your Marriage", which has inspired me for this week's post. I would like to share a few excellent points from this chapter. I do truly believe that all of us desire a great marriage and want to protect them!! Here are a few simple things we can do... And simple is great because it is something we can implement immediately!!!

1. Be Each Other's Best Friend:
*Be each other's GREATEST encourager
*Believe in each other
*Build each other up (in other words, uplift and EDIFY!!)
*SERVE each other (I think we covered this last post :)
*Don't take each other for granted
*Laugh often!
2. Have a Deep Commitment
*Get into the deep; don't be commitment lazy
* Honor your spouse in front of your friends!! ( oh, sooooooo HUGE!!!!)
*Commit to a date night once a week and a least two trips a year together!
3. Add Value by Honoring, Appreciating and Esteeming Your Mate
* Don't compare, complain, criticize or compete
*Remember even the little things your spouse does should be appreciated
*EDIFY and build each other up!

I would like to extend the next challenge! This week think of 5 things you love about your spouse and share those with him/her! Also, think about how you show love and admiration to your spouse? What are some new (or improved) ways of doing this??

A Servant Heart

"We need to be more seed-oriented than need-oriented. In your time of need, don't sit around thinking about what you lack. Think about what kind of seed you can sow to get yourself out of that need." -Joel Osteen

This week's discussion is focused on a servant heart and being a servant leader. I will be citing a lot from Joel Osteen's book "Your Best Life Now." He has an entire, fantastic section that is on this very subject. You may not realize it, but it is extremely selfish to go around always dwelling on your problems, always thinking about what you want or need, and hardly noticing the many needs of others all around you. One other wonderful book I would like to plug here is called "The Generosity Factor" by Ken Blanchard and S. Truett Cathy.

We can each help to make a difference in the life of someone else. Help ease some body's burden, send a kind word, pay a compliment, give a hug, bake cookies, mow some one's lawn, volunteer at a children's or Seniors center. Even when times are tough and we feel that we do not have anything to give monetarily, there are always things we can do that don't cost us a thing!! The thing of it is, when we are serving others, it lifts our own spirits. We forget about our own problems. We are happier. If you are having ill feelings toward a certain person, go out of your way to serve that individual. This will do a couple of things. First, it puts our own heart in the right place. It is very difficult to harbor hard feelings toward someone when you are looking for ways to serve them. God doesn't operate that way. Second, it will soften their hearts toward us. Third, we just feel better, don't we??

This can work in any relationship, including your marriage. My good friends, Tim and Gaye Goad, told me a story a couple of months ago. A woman who was having major marital struggles went to a lawyer to discuss divorce options. She was angry, bitter, and resentful. She told her lawyer, "I want to make him pay! I want him to regret everything he ever did!" Her attorney's advice was simply to make this next two weeks utter Hell for him. Make his favorite meals. Wear his favorite dresses. Be extra affectionate. Treat him like a king! Then slap him with the papers! You will end your marriage on the note that he will remember everyday how good he had it and how much he missed! Well, weeks and months went by. He never heard back from this woman. So, he called her to see what was going on. You know what she told him?? You guessed it! When she started serving this man, it changed her heart, and her husbands. Their marriage was beginning to heal itself.

My challenge this week is to get out of our comfort zones a little! Wake up everyday and pray to God about who we can serve and bless! Wake up with the attitude that says, "I am going to make somebody else happy today, I am going to meet somebody else's need!" Watch for opportunities where you normally wouldn't! Let's see how many lives we can impact! Take our eyes off of ourselves and focus on others!!! I know we can make a difference, even if it is one smile at a time! Let's all share our experiences!! Pay it forward!

"I'm convinced that many people would receive the miracle they have been praying about if they would simply run their attention away from themselves, away from thier own needs and problems, and start to focus on being a blessing to other people. All too often we spend most of our time trying to be blessed. We should concentrate more on being a blessing than trying to be blessed" -Joel Osteen