Trust and Leadership

"Trust implies accountability, predictability, and reliability. More than anything else, followers want to believe in and trust their leaders. They want to be able to say, "Someday I want to be like him or her." People first must believe in you before they will follow your leadership.

Trust must be built day by day. It calls for consistency. Some of the ways a leader can betray trust include: breaking promises, gossiping, with-holding information, and being two-faced. These actions destroy the environment of trust necessary for the growth of potential leaders. And when a leader breaks trust, he must work twice as hard to regain it." -John C. Maxwell

I found this passage in The Maxwell Daily Reader. I read this and was impressed with its compatibility not only with leadership relationships, but also marital relationships. If we are taking a proactive stance to change and improve our relationship, we are accepting a leadership role. Dr. Maxwell goes on to give the following description of the word TRUST.

Time: Take time to listen and give feedback on performance.
Respect: Give someone respect and he will return it with trust.
Unconditional Positive Regard: Show acceptance of the person.
Sensitivity: Anticipate feelings and needs.
Touch: Give encouragement- Handshake, high five, pat on the back. (Marital touch can be a bit more intimate, but you get the picture...)

I feel that some crucial characteristics of being a trustworthy individual are Excellence and Integrity. What does it mean to be a person of excellence and integrity? A person of excellence and integrity will go the extra mile. He will keep his word at ALL times, including when it is difficult...

"For many people, mediocrity is the norm; they want to do as little as they possibly can and still get by. But God did not create us to be mediocre or average. He doesn't want us to just barely get by, or to do what everybody else is doing. God has called us to be a cut above. He's called us to stand out in the crowd, to be people of excellence and integrity.... God doesn't bless mediocrity. He blesses excellence." -Joel Osteen

I felt impressed to bring up this topic because I feel that lack of trust can be a huge barrier in trying to rebuild a relationship. Rebuilding trust is no easy task, and as stated above, once broken, the individual must work twice as hard to regain it. Many individuals I have been talking with have been applying new principles in their relationships, which is fantastic, but they are expecting immediate changes. You must be understanding in realizing that your spouse may not be ready to jump on board because they have reservations with past trust issues. Be consistent, keep a positive attitude, and don't give up!!! It will happen!!